Couples Counseling Fix: How it Works

If you find yourself stuck in a repetitive cycle of communication issues within your relationship, then you could likely benefit from couple counseling. Some symptoms that indicate you may benefit the Couples Counseling Fix are:

• One of you feels nagged, the other feels neglected.
• You find it hard to listen to each other's point of view.
• One or both of you frequently use words like always or never, to describe disappointments in the other.
• You feel as though your partner just doesn't understand you.

If you find that you and your partner seem to argue about the same issues repeatedly, then you are a good candidate for couples therapy. Common recurring argument topics may be:

1. Finances
2. Household chores and logistics
3. Parenting
4. Sex
5. In-laws

These recurring arguments can result in increased conflict or  avoidance and can be completely repaired!

It's not uncommon for each partner to have a different approach to parenting. The problem with this is that it creates inconsistency for the child and increases the chances of arguments between the parents.

The Couples Counseling Fix can be a great support in helping otherwise well-intended parents learn how to be more effective rather than just be 'right'. 

Here are some common signs that you would likely benefit from couples counseling:

1. If you find yourself avoiding meaningful conversations with your partner, sharing less about your thoughts and feelings, or feeling like roommates rather than partners.
2. If you have less interest in sex or are avoiding physical touch.
3. Feeling less physically or emotionally drawn to your partner.

Here are some common signs that you would likely benefit from Couples Counseling Fix even if you are holding resentments: 

1. Holding onto past hurts, blaming each other, or feeling unappreciated.
2. A sense of isolation and lack of emotional support within the relationship.
3. Spending more time on work, hobbies, or with friends than with each other. 
4. No longer enjoying activities together or feeling like you have nothing in common.

Affairs happen not infrequently. If you or your partner had an emotional, internet-based, or physical affair, then repair is possible, under the following conditions:

1. The offending partner has ended the affair
2. The offending partner is remorseful
3. Both partners want to repair the relationship

If you are experiencing physical or verbal abuse in your relationship which results in you feeling frightened and at times 'walking on eggshells' then you and your partner are NOT a candidate for couples counseling.

A cycle of violence > appeasement > tension > more violence is an indication that the perpetrator needs individual anger management training before he or she is ready to work on the relationship.

If you are a survivor of such violence, please seek individual support from trusted family members and clinicians.

Disagreements about parenting approaches are not uncommon, but if one or both partners are engaged in physical, verbal or emotional violence towards a child, then such behavior would likely be considered child abuse. 

Psychotherapists are mandatory reporters who must report any reasonable suspicion of child abuse to the authorities. 

If you believe you or your partner is engaging in abusive behavior, seek individual help right away to best support your child's safety and development. 

Substance abuse can foster an environment of dishonesty, manipulation, and broken trust, making open communication and collaborative problem-solving challenging. 

Additionally, the individual struggling with addiction might not be fully present or able to engage in the therapeutic process meaningfully. In such cases, individual treatment for the person with substance abuse issues is often a necessary precursor to couples counseling in order to ensure a foundation of stability and sobriety.

An affair is not necessarily a relational death sentence. Most relationships can be repaired after an affair. But in some cases, ongoing affairs or affairs where there is a lack of genuine remorse on the part of the offending partner, may reflect a more concerning pathology.

If the affair is ongoing and the offending partner refuses to end the other relationship, or if the offending partner has a long history of repeated infidelity, then couples therapy is contraindicated and individual therapy may be more appropriate.